Kevin Reilly – Gdańsk, Poland

For months now, I have begun my day with a meditation in a few verses of the psalms. I’m simply making my way through the book, a few verses at a time. I read, memorise and then just sit silently for 15 minutes before the Lord, chewing over the verse I’ve been drawn to. A few days ago, this verse spoke to me: You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us. (Ps 40:5a)

I am often aware of the fact that God has multiplied his wondrous deeds in our direction – concrete kindnesses, provisions, interventions, answers to prayer etc – but I was caught up short with the extension of David’s thinking. He is aware, not only of the Lord’s physical blessings in his life, but also the multiplication of the Lord’s thoughts toward him. It was a stand-out moment for me. To live with a thankful heart for both what the Lord has done and is doing, as well as what the Lord thinks and is thinking toward us is important to David. In fact he is so aware of both God’s actions and thoughts that he continues in this verse: I will proclaim them and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told. (v5c)

This article is very much like that – there is just too much to share here with regard to what the Lord did for us in Australia and the thoughts he shared with us. But like David, I will do my best to tell of them, whilst acknowledging that I will undoubtedly be skipping over so much of what God did and said. Anyways, here goes…

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Australia – His Wondrous Deeds

Simply put, the entirety of our Australian sabbatical was an incredible gift to us. Every provision – flights, accommodation, use of a car, spending money etc – was a gift! It all came from outside of us, through the love of long-standing friends as well as people we had never met before. All of it! After sixteen years of being tucked away in our little corner of Poland, the Lord decided that we should stop. He also decided that the means by which we should stop would come from outside of us. Our time in Australia was miraculous and restorative from the very beginning.

Australia is just vast! The whole of Europe fits within its borders, with some wiggle room. If Western Australia (where we were based in Perth) was a country, it would be the tenth largest country in the world! It is impossible for me to really communicate the impact of the size of this place upon us, as Europeans. A mere 26 million people live in this vast land, mostly around the coast, and so you don’t have to travel far into the interior before you discover…you are utterly alone! We took a twelve day road trip to the south from Perth, via the interior; you can literally travel for hundreds of kilometres before coming a cross a small town / petrol station. There’s no phone signal either! Anything could happen! You pull the car over in order to take some cool pics of a long, straight, empty road with heat haze coming off it and you could honestly lay down in the middle of that road and kip for 40 minutes and you would be safe. The land is so big and so empty…

…but so beautiful too. The eucalyptus or gum trees that grow here are magnificent. Tall. Weird (shedding their bark like people shed their skin in the sun). And just huge! We walked 40m up in a Karri Tree forest and it was just breathtaking. We climbed to the top of gigantic rock formations (where do these mountains come from in this flat land?) to gaze out upon an unending landscape – bush, forest, desert and more. The wildlife is magnificent too. We saw wild dolphins as we walked along the side of an estuary; kangaroos – so many – emus and a highly venomous and deadly Dugite Snake. “You are so privileged to see this,” declared the warden on the camp-sight where we were staying. “I’ve been working here two years and have never seen a snake. You’re here two days and you see a Dugite!” She’s right. We were.

To us, as Brits, Australia was a mix of things that are familiar – language, English culture (they drive on the left) and the tremendous kindness and warmth of the people. Whilst at the same time you really feel as though the wildness of the place might get ya! At 40+ degrees, even the sun is after you! Honestly, swimming in the sea took some getting used to as you check your Shark-watch App to see what’s been cruising in your bay, lately. And I think that it was this mix of things both familiar and things other that positioned us to be able to hear some of the wondrous thoughts that the Lord wanted to share with us.

Australia – His Wondrous Thoughts

I run. Everywhere I go I take my running stuff and I run. It’s just part of how I live my life. One morning, early on in our trip, I ran to a local river, where I was in the habit of pausing for a few minutes before heading home. And God shared his thoughts with me. The tide was out and the river bed was full of old tree stumps and God shared his thoughts and intentions with me: Kevin, I’m going to draw back the tide of your life and reveal to you some things that you will need to take out. God’s thoughts were so clear to me and I felt myself getting excited at the prospect of significant change.

Emma and I brought a number of books with us for this trip and one which we had been reading with our guys back home in Gdansk was Soul Care, by Rob Reimer. It’s a book that helps us to realign with the identity that we have in Christ. It is tremendous, and one of the most significant books I’ve ever read. And so the Holy Spirit began to speak to me: Kevin there are people in your life you have not forgiven (there were, in fact, eight of them…I didn’t even know it!) and so over the following two weeks I would head out in order to pray, confess, forgive and release these dear people from my unforgiving heart and thoughts. The Holy Spirit spoke to me about wounds I have carried all my life – wounds of rejection and abandonment, due to my upbringing. I was able to see how defensive I am and how afraid I am of failure and of being rejected by others. The Lord was sharing his thoughts with me, and I simply agreed with him and was blessed to have the time and space to process his thoughts well.

I had four sessions with a Christian counsellor whilst there (in for a penny…) and it was tremendous. I’ve never really had the opportunity or inclination to sit face to face with a complete stranger and give him permission to speak to me, about me. But I was so helped by this dear Baptist brother as he spoke with love and directness and biblical truth into areas of my life which I did not even know existed. Kevin, you have made an idol out of mission, out of doing something for God. This is part of your problem. And he was right. I had and, along with unforgiveness and fears, I was simply able to agree with the Lord, and find release from things that have hampered me for most of my Christian life.

The Lord shared his wondrous deeds with us in providing an Australian sabbatical. It’s a great place, for sure, but this provision was the context I needed to hear his thoughts. Indeed, I’m not sure that I could have responded to God in the way that I was able to, had I been back in Gdańsk, in my everyday routines. And so the Lord repositioned us (literally, he turned us on our heads) in order to do the more wonderful work of sharing his thoughts with me, whilst at the same time enabling me to listen and respond.

Like David, there is more than can be told with regard to what God has done in my heart (despite the length of this article:). Emma and those who know me well can see and hear the transformation that has taken place in me. Long-standing stumps and roots have been removed from my life and the Lord Jesus has brought me into a new freedom (despite having walked with him for more than thirty-two years).

And all of this began with the Lord multiplying his wondrous deeds and thoughts toward me – the practical implications of which, I will share in part two of this post, next month.